Not gonna make it...

Joey is home sick...he is pukey, :o( Unfortunately he doesn't know how to be sick.......He wants to eat.....he wants to drink. I asked if he wanted to go up & lay in my bed & he said he would be lonely.

Calvin is driving me crazy. I have almost cried twice. I am starting to feel like crap now too. And to top it off I didn't get to have a Sweet Tea today.

Kindergarten Kid....

So next Tues Sept. 7th marks Joey's first day of kindergarten. And I am more then ready to send him off!

In the beginning of June Joey was tested at Bport Elem to see whether he would be in full or half day kindergarten. Me, thinking my son would have no problems testing was going around, saying, "Oh he wont get into full day, he is too smart." (the full day is an "intervention" program) Then the letter came......"We are delighted to inform you of Joey's acceptance into the Full Day Kindergarten program...." I cried. WTH? What makes my son "at risk?" I dont' think the test results reflect his true abilities. Will the stupid kids bring him down? I was crushed. I sat on the news for awhile, to embarrassed to say anything. I was frantically emailing the guidance counselor. So after emailing with the counselor, I find out he scored in the average range. To be honest I knew he didn't do as well as he could have as soon as the test was over. And that they needed to fill space in the class. I had the option of declining the full day. SO I talked to a few people...my SIL, another mom that I am acquainted with & really doesn't know Joey very well, the director from Good Shepherd & finally my sister. All of whom said, it would be a great opportunity for him, he will benefit from it. SO I emailed the counselor & said we would take it, but would like it if he could have Mrs so & so....

So we go to orientation last week & I am happy to say that I got the teacher we wanted! I know this is a great opportunity for him & that the moms in the other UMASD schools would kill for a full day Kindergarten. I think he needs something that is just his & has nothing to do with Calvin. I think he & Calvin desperately need to be away from each other! It will give me more time with Calvin, which he needs!

But now I am going to have to start packing a lunch for him EVERY day, start making sure we are up by 7.15am, get at least Joey fed, dressed & out the door by 8.30. Do you think I can do it?? LOL We have been waking up early this week so we can start getting into our new routine.

I think he is excited. But as anyone with a boy knows, they are not every forthcoming with the "deets"!

Hopefully I can make it thru the morning w/o getting emotional! I am very excited for him!

What am I doing Wrong??????

I feel like crying tight now. I wish I knew why I can't get my kids to listen & not fight me on everything. I see some kids who dont give their parents a hard time. I am on edge all the time. I am YELLING ALL the time. And I hate it. I feel like a raving lunatic. I guess I need to change me medication to something a bit stronger! LOL All day long it is mom mom mom.....I fear that Joey is becoming lazy or maybe just being a ty[ical man, he cant seem to do anything by himself. Do this, do that, i need. Just get the frick up & do it, or if your dad is here ask him!!!!!!!!! All i want is to have 2 nice little boys who dont hit, head butt, talk back, fight, listen. Is that too much to ask! I dont want them hating me b/c all i do is yell. Joey told to me that I don't like him b/c I screamed at him last night, that made me feel like SHIT! I told him I do like him, i just dont like the way he is behaving! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

Handsome...

The other night I was sitting next to Joey at the kitchen table.....I looked over at him & was struck by how handsome he has become! He was a beautiful baby & an adorable toddler, but then he was sort of goofy looking. ( I know, terrible mother!) Not sure how to explain it, I guess he was in a transition stage. But know he is looking like a little boy, I guess his face has thinned out a bit, maybe that is what it is. He is a great big brother(for the most part), I see him really trying to take Calvin under his wing. And Calvin will do & say just about anything that Joey does. It is just too funny.





I guess that I am having a hard time coming to terms with the losing of the teeth, starting kindergarten stuff. What happened to my rambunctious baby!! I am entering a whole new world & I am scared.

Then there is my sonny boy...Calvin. He is so tough. I can't quite get a read on him. He is funny, strong willed, stubborn, dramatic & fast! I think he has OCD tendencies. He gets so crazy when things are not just so! He is so smart...I an amazed by the things he says & does. Both of the boys are quick learners. Joey from the beginning would just sit back & observe all that was going on around him. He could see or hear something & be doing it a short time later. Calvin repeats everything in no time at all. He just repeats everything we say. I am a bit scared about how smart he is! I would LOVE to keep him a baby a little while longer, but I don't think that I will be able to do anything about that!!!

Am I a terrible mom??????

So, recently I find that i don't like the kind of mom that I am. I am always yelling & doing all that I can to not interact with Joey & Calvin. I was flipping through the channels the other night & happened upon Super Nanny........She was talking to the mom about using a firm tone, when I try that I am yelling. So I ask what is the difference between a firm tone & yelling b/c I can not differentiate feel such guilt....my kids are basically good boys, they are just hard wired to be active & need to be out running around. I just am getting so lazy these days. So I am going to try this weekend to get them outside., be a little more patient, & just let them be little boys.

Sometimes Joey & Calvin just drive me CRAZY.....I made a comment to Geo that sometimes I just want to hurt them. I would NEVER EVER hurt them, but there are just times I don't know what to do. So hubby kind of scolds me for saying this, I in turn say that there are other moms who feel the same way & it is normal. Isn't he the person I should be able to be my most honest self with? I fly off the handle so easily....

On to good news....we had Joey's parent/teacher conference today. He is doing so well & I am so impressed with the progress he has made since September. I am in awe of the things that he is learning. Just a few improvements in the department of being easily distracted & talking too much! Not surprised by that at all, he is after all my son, just like his mommy! I am so proud of him...He is reading for good old Kindergarten. Have an appt scheduled for March 17th to register him & Calvin is registered for his first year at Good Shepherd! My how fast time flies!